Hello, friends, and welcome to the sixth Character Profile of the Gaming Inspirations series! “Gaming Inspirations” is a series of blog posts that puts into words how gaming has inspired me to shed my anxiety and its negative effects on my life. Final Fantasy IX has provided incredible amounts of inspiration (probably because it’s the greatest game of all time), so I’m creating a profile for each of the main characters. Each profile will examine their unique qualities and I will detail how, through physical action, I’m going to help myself lead the life I want to lead by incorporating those qualities.
Today, I give some love to the character who I believe is the most underrated in the series: Quina Quen.
(Quick note: I use the “S/he” pronoun because that’s what they use in the game, and Quina doesn’t seem to mind. Sorry if it offends anyone, I swear I didn’t mean to hurt ya <3)
Hello, friends, and welcome to the fifth Character Profile of the Gaming Inspirations series! “Gaming Inspirations” is a series of blog posts that puts into words how gaming has inspired me to shed my anxiety and its negative effects on my life. Final Fantasy IX has provided incredible amounts of inspiration (probably because it’s the greatest game of all time), so I’m creating a profile for each of the main characters. Each profile will examine their unique qualities and I will detail how, through physical action, I’m going to help myself lead the life I want to lead by incorporating those qualities.
Today we’re going to talk about the sweetest little kid-summoner in the whole wide world (of Gaia), Eiko Carol!
Eiko Carol is the lone survivor of a Summoner tribe in the village of Madain Sari (OR IS SHE?!?!?! Spoiler: she’s not). She lives with a bunch of moogles (the cutest darn things on the planet) and apparently cooks horrendous food.
Her life gets turned on its head when she meets up with Zidane and the rest of the gang, joining them in their adventures and learning what it’s like to interact with others like her for the first time since she was very young. At the end of the game, after suffering the crippling loneliness of being the last of her kind, she finally feels at home once again. Yay!
At first, writing up a Character Profile for Eiko seemed near-impossible: her demographic (6 years old, a lady, plays the flute, horn on her head, magical) seemed so distant from mine (25, dude, utter lack of horns, magic, and musical talent) that I thought there wouldn’t be much to talk about.
Boy, was I wrong.
Throughout Final Fantasy IX, Eiko brings up a major human conflict, one that all of us struggle with: loneliness.
I’m not talking about your average, garden-variety, “All-my-friends-are-gone-for-the-summer-what-am-I-to-do” loneliness, either: I’m talking about isolation. Sure, she’s got a lot of moogles to talk to, and this is no slight on them, but… she’s different from the moogles. No matter how nice or comforting they try to be, their core difference from Eiko prevent them from fully filling the void caused by lack of real empathy from someone who knows your struggle.
I’d be willing to bet pretty much everyone has felt this “but they don’t understand what I’m going through! They haven’t experienced what I’ve experienced! How could they possibly understand how I’m feeling?” loneliness before. Hell, I know I have. A lot. My experience is different, unique from anyone else’s; it seems natural to assume that, since they haven’t experienced what I’ve experienced, it’d be impossible to understand the depth or intricacies of how I’m feeling.
The “They Don’t Understand” feeling is amplified when the situations or events are completely out of your control, and when is your life more out of your control than when you’re a kid? Eiko didn’t choose to be born in Madain Sari. She didn’t choose for her family to be slaughtered. Hell, she couldn’t even choose who she wanted to hang out with! When these sorts of things are chosen for you and you’re powerless to change them, it’s easier to slip into a lonely, fatalistic sort of despair.
Let me tell you why this idea is irrelevant and should be discarded.
HOW TO INCORPORATE (or, in this case, dis-incorporate (is that a word? I don’t think that’s a word. Whatever)) THESE QUALITIES
This “They Don’t Understand” delusion doesn’t do anyone any good: it’s isolating for the person feeling it, and it makes the people trying to help feel powerless. But, in the moment when you’re feeling it, it’s very difficult to avoid: how could they possibly understand? How are you supposed to trick yourself into thinking that they do?
There’s only one thing you can do. There’s one phrase you have to integrate into your vocabulary, the only thing that will help when you’re feeling lonely and misunderstood:
Control what you can control.
There are going to be events in your life that make you feel like poop and are totally beyond your control. It happens to everyone, and it sucks no small amount of ass.
Wait. Did you read that?
“It happens to everyone”.
This is hard to remember when you’re in the throes of despair, but you need to realize that, when your friends are doing what they can to help you, it’s because they have felt pain, too. No, it’s not the exact same pain. No, it’s not the exact same situation. But in the immortal words of Westley from The Princess Bride: “Life is pain, princess. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something”. Everyone knows pain, and friends are those who help (or try, at least) to take the pain away.
In these situations, when you’re at your worst, looking at what you can control and taking control of them is a must. One major thing that you control (when you’re an adult, at least) is who you choose to spend your time with. Spend time with people who make you happy, and trust that those people will empathize with you and help you in any way they can. Whether they’ve felt exactly how you feel is irrelevant; what’s important is that they are willing to try and shoulder some of that burden with you.
When Eiko meets Zidane and the gang, she sees that she doesn’t need to be alone anymore.
You don’t, either.
All it takes is a little trust, concentrating on what you can control, and getting by with a little help from your friends.
Sorry I’ve been slackin’ – there have been some pretty intensely time-consuming things going on in my life recently that don’t allow me to write as much as I was before (that, and my beautiful girlfriend and editor is working her buns off, and it’s hard for her to read through my video game rants when she has ACTUAL assignments to do). I’m switching to a Sunday-only format. I hope to have the next Profile up this Sunday, but if not it’ll definitely be up by the 18th.
Whew! Just over a month in, and Gaming Inspirations has had some super-positive effects on my life. Now that we’re at the halfway point, I’m going to do a quick recap of the characters we’ve covered, hey they’ve inspired me, and how successful I’ve been in incorporating their lessons into my day-to-day:
Steiner: Morning gym sessions, increasing my sense of accomplishment early in the day and improving my physical health
So far, this has been a MODERATE SUCCESS. I haven’t kept up with my four-day-a-week 5:00-AM gym sessions, but I’m going at least 4 times a week still, which is good. I’ve been floundering a bit; a lot of my friends are moving to my new city, so there’s been a lot of partying/staying out late/not going to the gym in the morning, but after being pretty consistent for about a month, I’m confident I can get back on the horse pretty easily, starting today.
If you want to join me, pick up some running shoes. Really, that’s all you need to get started, along with some t-shirts and shorts/sweatpants. Personally, I use Saucony Cohesion 7 running shoes. They’re super-duper comfy, never had a problem, and relatively inexpensive. If you think you had to drop three figures on running shoes, you don’t! Pick up some shoes and get runnin’!
Vivi: Reading books, trying new things
I’m going to say that I’ve had SUCCESS with this, as well. I still don’t ask as many questions as I’d like, mostly due to my fear of looking stupid. However, I’ve been doing a lot of reading, and I think that the fear of asking questions/looking stupid will ease as I continue to try new things and have new experiences.
Again, my lack of confidence rears its ugly head. I think I’m good at entertaining views without accepting them, and I’m good at hearing others out who have differing opinions on things, but I am still not confident enough to truly do and say what I feel is right most of the time. I’ve had some level of success with this, but not much. As I said in the Steiner recap, the more confident I get with the things I’m good at will have a positive effect on the things that are difficult for me.
Princess Garnet: Taking notes, having patience with myself and others
I’ve been killin’ it with the taking notes recently, which is a cornerstone of any sustained success. For money-budgeting, I use You Need a Budget 4. It may not seem to make much sense to spend money on budgeting software, but if you stick with it, I guarantee it’s worth the one-time $60 payment. There’s also a 34-day demo and free classes to help you get started (it’s also available on steam for you gamers out there!)
For my diet, I use the MyFitnessPal app on my iPhone. I’ve only scratched the surface of what it can do; but even simply making an educated guess at my calories consumed each day has helped me to lose 10 pounds in the past month and a half. It’s a great piece of software that helped me a lot.
I’ve also used a free app that has started to help me with my patience. It’s called Headspace, and it’s a guided-meditation app. The first ten 10-minute sessions are free, and the technique I used has helped me to calm down in situations of high stress. Check it out!
Out of all this, though, one of the most positive effects I’ve seen is the reaction from my readers. I’ve got some great feedback, and I look forward to what you guys will have to say about my upcoming posts. I know I haven’t strictly kept to the Thursday/Sunday schedule, but I’m gonna try my darnedest to get back on the horse; if it’s too much of a strain, it might become a Sunday-only thing. I’ll keep y’all posted.
Thanks for reading! Take care, and feel free to tell me how I’m doing/share your stories in the comments below!